Cleaning Out My Closet

     It's a great feeling when you have to buy new clothes.  Not just because, "Oh wow, that sweater is just too cute", but because the sweater in your closet looks like it literally swallowed you whole.  Then you try on the blouse in your closet, too big, then another with the same conclusion.  And before you know it, you're cleaning out your closet, and half of your clothes are gone.  Go on, do a happy dance, I know I did, with a big, toothy smile on my face.

     It was before Thanksgiving and I was going through my clothes to figure out which outfits to don for the upcoming kick-off to the holiday season.  I saw a sweater towards the back of my closet that I hadn't worn in quite some time.  I decided to try it on, thinking surely it hadn't gotten that much larger, and was actually shocked when I looked in the mirror.  I looked frumpy, swallowed up by this sweater that I used to wear all the time.  It was a beautiful sweater, and was even more beautiful by what it now signified; I was a new person.  Not that girl I used to be who was unhappy every time she looked in the mirror, seeing her frowning, judging reflection staring back at her.  The girl who wondered how she let herself get to this point and always promised to do something about it tomorrow.  I cleaned that personality out too, kicked her to the curb along with all of her excuses and the negativity that consumed her. 



   
    Cleaning out our closets can take on different meanings.  Along with giving away my previous clothes to Goodwill, I also cleaned out my way of thinking.  I had become a very negative person, I stopped seeing joy in everyday life because internally I was angry with and about numerous things.  Sure, I could plaster on a smile, but it never reached down to my soul.  It never came from pure happiness.  Once I decided that enough was enough, I changed my attitude and my overall mindset.  If something goes wrong, I try not to get upset right off, but instead I take a deep breath and try to think that it's not the end of the world.  (I'm not saying I never get upset, I've just learned to tone it down quite a bit.)  I take in the beauty of each day, for instance it's snowing right now, and I watched one flake make its decent to the ground, swaying and flittering this way and that....absolutely gorgeous.  I'm training myself to slow down.  Not everything has to be done in one day.  If my kids want to play, the dusting can wait until tomorrow, the world will not implode due to my lack of housework.  I smile more, at everyone.  Kind smiles at strangers because you never know who may need one.  Honestly, I feel more peaceful and grateful. 

     I must admit that this chain reaction started with my decision to become healthy, not just by losing weight, but by improving my overall health and well-being.  Whether it be exercising everyday and eating cleaner, trying to rediscover a faith shaken, over-hauling that attitude that took over so long ago, or just trying to be a great role model for my kids, I'm always cleaning out my closet.  Because how else does one clean out a closet besides "out with the old and in with the new"?  The first step is simply to open the door.